About a month a half ago, I bought plane tickets to be a part of my friend's wedding reception in Germany, sensing that I should go, but immediately cancelled the tickets the next day, seeing that I couldn't afford the trip with the onslaught of apartment rental and auto mechanic bills. Last weekend, however, as I was sitting at Johannes' wedding rehearsal, I was overcome and compelled with the sense that I should go--that it was one of those decisions with which I would look back with intense regret for not having gone, or intense gratitude that I had gone--that either God was telling me to go, or that I was going crazy. So that very night I made a point to search for and purchase plane tickets for an international flight that would depart just five days later. "God," I mentally spoke, "if this is really You telling me to go to Germany, then I will buy a ticket, no matter what the cost." The ticket that I found ended up being $80 less than the ticket I bought month prior. That was the first confirmation of God's hand in it all. The second confirmation I needed was the fact that I needed to get time off of work--if not, quitting may have been an option I was willing to consider. It was Friday night, and I would not be back at the work place until Monday. I felt like Ester or Nehemiah, making a request before the king (or in this case, my boss), just praying that God would grant me favor for time off with such short notice. I made the request the following Monday, and it was granted--Austin to Germany in three more days.
It was a trip of much needed rest and respite; I didn't realize how badly I needed it until I was there. It was a weekend where God gave me the precious rarity of placing "life-as-I've-known-it" on pause, midst a hectic conglomeration of work, church commitments, sin, and procrastination. As a result of the short, three day stay in Germany, I had much more opportunity to reflect in an environment that is both rich in relationship, yet full of autonomy. Incredibly peaceful--outside I saw the greenest fields, forest, and German-style country houses, all to a backdrop of a slow, sun-setting sky. Up till now, I'd known that things needed to change back in Austin, yet I'd rarely caught my breath enough to parse out what this change might look like. Now I was able. I had the chance to make a list of changes--resolves--of habits, things to start, and things to stop, that must take place upon arriving to Austin, for the Kingdom's sake.
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