God Sighting | May 2, 2009

Once again at Mozart's Cafe, I was with some friends when I felt drawn to go to the edge of the water and observe what God was doing with the sky around me. As I leaned over the railing with coffee in hand, God was displaying His handiwork and open my heart to perceive His presence in it all, in those very moment. It was as if time itself slowed, but as sweet as honey, as I gazed at the blue, pink and yellow-hued sky with its setting sun. My gaze alternately fell upon the waters, illuminated with the dazzling display above. I felt like I should gaze closer into the water to look for fish, and saw a team of three fish swim by in synchrony. The turtles even made an appearance, gradually wading their way toward where I stood, then continuing on. The depths of my soul drank in the captivating palette of colors and life that the Lord was orchestrating in that very moment. I couldn't help but literally applaud His outstanding work after it all passed, just as I applaud it right now.

Lord, burn and sear this memory into my very heart and soul, so that when clouds hang on the horizon and storms blow, that I would recall, with precise vividness, how glorious and awesome your goodness remains.

God Sighting | May 9, 2009

I was reading a compilation of A.W. Tozer's sermons titled "Whatever Happened to Worship?" and came across a passage that arrested me in my tracks and brought me to the point of tears:

You have read of Blaise Pascal, the famous 17th century French scientist often classed as one of the six great thinkers of all time. He was considered a genius in mathematics, and his scientific inquiry was broad. He was a philosopher and a writer, but best of all, he experienced a personal, overhwelming encounter with God one night that changed his life.

Pascal wrote on a piece of paper a brief account of his experience, folder the paper and kept it in a pocket close to his heart, apparently as a reminder of what he had felt. Those who attending him at his death found the worn, creased paper. In Pascal's own hand it read:

"From about half-past ten and night to about half-after midnight--fire! O God of abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob--not the God of the philosophers and the wise. The God of Jesus Christ who can be known only in the ways of the Gospel. Security--feeling--peace--joy--tears of joy. Amen."

...The living God had broken through and beyond all that was human and intellectual and philosophical. The astonished Pascal could only describe in one word the visitation in his spirit: "Fire!" (90 & 91)

Father, You met Pascal 354 years ago just like You wonderfully and graciously met me nine years ago in what I have only been able to describe, like Pascal, as "a massively overwhelming sense of Your power, peace, love, and security as I broke down in tears, not caring who was around me." Words to define Your greatness have since eluded me.

"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." -Jesus (Luke 15:10)

God Sighting | May 2, 2009

A week ago I was "volunteered" to create a poster for The City Community Church that supplemented an event aiming to connect with people who frequently walk by with dogs before the service. I went to Mozart's Cafe on Friday night to start and complete the project, and invited my friend, Hogan, to join.

I'd never created anything on this scale before, and let alone for this kind of an audience. Hours passed with little to show. I started to get a little concerned that if I didn't start something soon, I would never finish. I prayed that God would give me ideas to create this poster, and that it would bring glory to Him. Midnight was approaching fast, and about 30 minutes before we were going to leave, Hogan had a flurry of inspiration. "Hey it would be cool if you tried this...hey it would also be neat if you did this...now this..." I confess that my initial reaction, being the "designer," was that I should have been the one with the ideas, not Hogan. But not having anything else to go on, I obliged. As we implemented his ideas, I began to see that they were very, very good.

What saving grace from God! And answer to prayer! What a reminder that the burden of creativity does not lie with me, but with Him. It is Good to know that wherever there is a desire to glorify Jesus in a way that calls upon creativity, God will provide His creativity--whatever source it might come from--to honor that desire.

God Sighting | April 4, 2009

Being a Saturday, I had planned to spend the day with good friends. Toward 9PM or 10PM, I felt a strange (or rather, familiar) "prompting" to go and simply read the Bible at Mozart's cafe. I'll admit, I resisted. But the more I tried to brush it off, the more I sensed it was like God was beckoning me to just be still with Him. So, after deciding it would be better to go and see what God possibly had in store, instead of live my days wondering what I could have missed out on, I went.

Looking into the letter to the Galatian churches and Ephesian churches, my desire was for the Father to illuminate His word to me, that I would understand it, that I would know Him more. And so He did: line by line, paragraph by paragraph, idea by idea, truth by truth, wonder by wonder. 

Some friends stopped by and discussed some of the things I had been observing in these letters. After they left, I was approached by two young people, a guy and a gal, possibly 18 - 20. They mentioned how it was neat to see a young person so livid about the word of God, and that they were 'Jehovah's Witnesses.' "O God, give me the power to be Your witness in this moment," I prayed silently in earnest. Not knowing too much about the doctrine of a Jehovah's Witness, asked them about various points of what they believed, to which I was asked about how I came to my interest in the word of God. Scriptures and stories of the works of God in my life began pouring from my lips like hundreds of water drops falling from a tin roof during a rain--stories linked with scripture and scripture linked with stories, the glory of His power and goodness were the only things that I cared to share about in that moment, for the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but power. Some time into the conversation, two older people, also a guy and a gal (both Jehovah's Witnesses), came and sat at my table. I brought up the subject of Jesus' deity, or lack thereof, in their view, to which opened up another door to show them the various instances in the Bible where it refers to Jesus as God.

God indeed leads. Had it not been His beckoning, I would have missed an sweet opportunity to be awed and changed by His word, as well as the chance to witness about the truth of Jesus to Jehovah's Witnesses.

God Sighting | December 24, 2008

I was back in Fremont visiting friends and family over Christmas and made the usual stop at Brad and Lisa's house. One of my friends, Brian, was watching the TV show "Home Improvement," so I sat down and started watching too. Knowing he was trying to get a position within the local police department, I asked him how he fared his latest bout of qualification tests. He replied that the results were less-than-stellar, particularly with regards to the reading comprehension portion. Immediately I was reminded of a similar conversation I'd had with him months before, having suggested reading the Bible regularly as a way to improve reading comprehension (and getting exposure to the word of Christ, of course), as it had helped my own reading comprehension skill over the years. But as that memory played through my mind, I wondered to myself, should I suggest it again? Would it be just another weightless, or even offending, suggestion? Caught in the tension, I went ahead and again suggested that Brian read the Bible--very short portions, but on a regular basis. "It's boring and hard to understand," he began to reply, but was interrupted by a flashy, impeccably timed, 30-second commercial in which the announcer was exclaiming "If you have questions about the Bible, text [such and such a number]!" As we both turned our heads to watch, I couldn't help but think that I had never before seen that commercial. Since I don't tend to watch much television, there was the possibility that the same commercial had already aired numerous times, so I started to brush it off as coincidence. But just before all inkling of providence emptied from my mind, Brian blurted, "I have never seen that commercial in my entire life! Can God speak through TV???" I laughed and laughed, hardly able to reply "Yes!" I couldn't have given a more persuasive presentation than what I had just witnessed!

What a startling reminder that God can use burning bushes, talking donkeys, mud made with spit, and even television sets to affirm actions that are taken in faith, all so that people would honor and trust in Jesus, the Creator, Sustainer, and Savior of the world.

God Sighting | December 19, 2008

Since I have been in Austin, my prayer has been for God to send me to those who will be responsive to His calling.

I recently met someone who recently began atteding the young adult group that I attend. As we interacted from week to week, I got the feeling that God was after him, and that he was beginning to respond. Today I had the opportunity to hang out with him in downtown Austin. As we conversed, it became clearer and clearer that, yes, God was indeed pursuing after him, and that he was indeed beginning to respond. He shared the sense of futility that overcame him the moment he put on his college graduation cap, and the question that has plagued him ever since: "Is this all there is to life?" and in turn, asked me to share how I came to trust in Jesus.

Truly, God is after him, it is my prayer that my friend comes to trust in Jesus as the redeemer of his soul and the Completer of his life.Publish Post

God Sighting | October 28, 2008

Two nights ago, I made a clear-cut decision to move to Austin, Texas. I am leaving in five days. Am I excited? No. More than anything, it's an enormously sobering decision. It's sobering because, before God, I had to expose all my motives for moving, good and bad, and let Him conform my will to His. It's sobering because I don't have a job, nor is it my primary concern; my primary concern is to advance the cause of the gospel. It's sobering because I've never even been to Austin, I've only heard reports from friends who have gone before me. It's sobering because I expect it will simultaneously be like moving away to college and taking an overseas mission trip—having many things I can expect, and so much more I can't expect. Am I crazy? If Jesus and His gospel were false, yes. But because Jesus and His gospel are true, an emphatic no.

Last night I asked my Father to give some sort of confirmation—a sign of His delight and favor with regards to this decision. Today He did.

He gave me His sign this morning, a few moments after I walked into the computer lab on my church campus. Brian, whose "office" is also in the computer lab, told me that he had just spoken with Scott over the phone (One thing about Scott is that a few months back, he and his family moved to Austin to start a church plant. Before he left, I spent a lot of time hanging out with him, and sure, he talked a lot about living and proclaiming the gospel in Austin, but I noticed that he never once asked me to go. I figured he didn't want to directly influence my decision. I couldn't agree more.). The significance of the phone call was that God used it to show me His sweet sign: Scott revealed that he had been asking God to move me to Austin all this time! When I realized that this was exactly what I asked of my Father, I just sat in my chair in awe and thanks. Thank You so much Father for your great, great favor.

"For whoever wishes to save His life will lose it, but whoever loses His life for My sake and the gospel's will save it."—Jesus

God Sighting | October 13, 2008

My days as of late had begun to look rather routine and monotonous. They usually look like this: Wake up. Gym. Computer Lab. Programming. Lunch. Programming. Home. Sleep. (Talk about having a groundhog day!)

So yesterday I asked God if I could have an extraordinarily different day today. And boy, was it different.

Different #1: Woke up at 10:30AM as opposed to 7:30AM because my alarm didn't go off. I had left my normal alarm (my cell phone) at a friend's house the night before. From the very beginning, the day started of different, and it was completely out of my control!

Different #2: Received (and replied to) two messages, one through email and one through facebook, about questions pertaining to the Bible.

Different #3: Made lunch at home. And enjoyed it.

Different #4: Arrived at the church campus (where I've been working on a graphics portfolio for the last umpteenth weeks) to find Brian, a friend who I work with, throwing away a truck full of computer gadgets, as well as an acoustic guitar. I am now enjoying that guitar, along with countless other cool computer widgets.

Different #5: Mom called and asked if I wanted to get frozen yogurt with her. I went.

Different #6: Sister showed up at the yogurt place with one of her classmates, who also happened to be our neighbor down the street. Great conversation ensued.

Different #7: Helped a friend plan an event.

Different #8: Had zero time to work on coding the flash portfolio I'd been working on, and didn't care; the entire day was such a blessing.

There you have it. A completely different day, all because God wanted to show that He cares. =)

God Sighting | September 28, 2008

A few weeks ago, September 13th, people from our church organized a free oil change and car wash for single mothers. One of the first few ladies who brought in their car was grandmother named Rosalee. While her car was being serviced, I spent some time with her in our church's cafe. A few minutes later, another woman I knew, Mellie—who was deaf—sat down near us, and I invited her to join the conversation. But despite my rusty sign language, we all had a great conversation, and I translated as best I could. Toward the end of our conversation, Mellie indicated that she felt led by God to pray for Rosalee. Standing in front of Rosalee, Mellie indicated that she was going to pray for Rosalee's heart, and because nowhere in the conversation did we ever talk about physical hearts, Rosalee remarked, "God really told her to pray for me, because on Monday I'm having heart surgery!" So placing her hand on Rosalee'shead, Mellie began to pray. Apparently word got out to people servicing the cars, and everyone began praying especially for Rosalee as well!

Fast forward to Thursday, September 25th. Ryan Kwon, one of the pastors at my church, received a letter from Rosalee detailing the results from her heart surgery. It was a surgery to place stints in her clogging arteries so that she could survive a second surgery to remove a tumor. And because it was so risky, there was only one docter in Modesto, California, who was willing to operate on her. during his initial operation on Rosalee, the docter made a startling discovery: he couldn't find any clogged arteries at all! Rosalee's arteries were perfectly clean!

Our God is such an active God who supernaturally heals people to this very day! Thank you, Father, for showing yourself to be so true in a time of this country's doubt in your very real power to heal!

God Sighting | September 20, 2008

Today I needed to get out of the house and experience something enlivening; something different than the deadening monotony of my house, computer, and coffee shops. There was only one place I knew in Fremont that could break me out of my normal routine and surround me with lapping waves and a fresh breeze—the docks. 

Driving in that area was wonderful. Upon arrival, I walked out to the end of the docks, admired the view and the breeze for a while, and talked with some anglers. As I turned to walk back to the car, I felt a bit terrified because I saw three options for the next few hours: I could drive to a coffee shop and read, I could go to the gym, or I could drive home and do nothing. Since all three options, at the moment, were about as exciting as laying in a coffin, I found myself asking God to show more of His beauty. I took the long route back toward my district, all the while carrying a deep longing to experience more of God. Taking a turn off the main road, I found myself amazed at the sight of a small, rustic-looking area. I could feel my soul and senses come alive as I slowly toured the grounds. To my left was a plot of land with some quaint looking houses nestled in luminous, golden dry grass. I also spotted a small vegetable garden with bits of rusty agricultural equipment and tools nearby. To my right was a Catholic college for nuns that looked like an ominous gothic mansion. I didn't even know Fremont had a college for nuns! And to think, this enchanting scene was tucked away behind the Mission all this time! Although I drove at a snail's pace, the tour was over in less than ten minutes. Though it was fantastic, it still wasn't enough—I had to experience more of God, and again, I asked my Father show me more. 

It was early in the afternoon, and I was back on the main road. I turned onto a private street that I vaguely remembered stretched 1/4 of a mile out into the hills. I passed unnerving signs that read "NO OUTLET, TURN AROUND," (I half-expected to see a skull and cross bones to go with them) as well as signs that surprised me, reading "ROAD NARROWS NEXT 4 MILES—" I had no recollection that this road stretched four miles! I cruised forward, quickly reaching a bottleneck that forced me to reverse four times—without dropping off into the canyon—to allow four oncoming cars to pass. Forging onward, I was surrounded by rustic scenery on my left and right. I pulled the moon-roof back and lowered the windows as the car traversed the narrow, uneven, windy road, showered with sunbeams that filtered through giant oaks, eucalyptus, and other trees that shaded most of the route. It all spoke to my soul of God. The scenery on this road changed virtually every five minutes. The road threaded through hilly groves completely carpeted with red and yellow leaves and passed through small stretches of more rustic-looking houses and golden fields. It skirted along property lines of ranches with animals ranging from horses to wild turkeys, and plunged right back into serene tree groves. By this time, the awesome way in which God was unfolding His answer to my prayer gave me a heightened sense of the holiness of the moment, and ultimately, for the rest of the day. Reaching the end of the road, I headed back down, asking the Father if He would continually show me things I had missed on the way up. And He did. He gave me a glimpse of beautiful rolling hills in between tree clearings. I saw a small herd of deer, one had even grown antlers. Through a clearing in the hills, I spotted the city and the bright glow of the bay's reflection of the sky. I also noticed a refreshing creek that flowed along the entire length of the road, sometimes to the left, sometimes to the right. Nearing the road's beginning, the last thing I spotted was a fat, stunted palm tree. It was really out of place, so much so that I chuckled at the sight.

What started with the potential to be one of most lifeless days turned out to be one of the most life-giving. My soul longed for more of God, and He continually satisfied and renewed with an overflowing measure. He shows me how true of a Father He is to me and how good of a Father He is to me. Every good thing is found in Him.

God Sighting | September 19, 2008

I'm so stoked because God found my blue Nalgene bottle I had lost four weeks ago during a church service! Two weeks ago, when I searched the lost and found, I was told the water bottle was probably thrown away, as only clothing items were kept. It was kind of a big bummer for me to hear since I carried and used that water bottle just about everywhere I went; those who know me can also attest to that fact! But just two or three days prior, I came to my senses and realized that if anyone could find it, it was God! What seemed impossible was now a chance for God to show that, once again, He is God of the impossible and that He sees everything—nothing is lost in His eyes! So two or three days ago, with all that in mind, I asked my Father, and a day or two later, some of my friends stumbled upon it! Even though it's such a "small" thing for God to have found, it is a GREAT reminder of how much He cares for the details of His childrens' lives.

God Sighting | July 29th, 2008

Debt. It's ugly and oppressive. Over the past few weeks I'd been living out of the negative values of my bank account. I have also been praying that God would provide for me financially as I sought first His kingdom. Since the end of my term as a music director in mid-June, the flow of money has also stopped. But today, His provision clobbered my debt, in His usual--unexpected--way.

I joined a group of pastors and staff from my local church to eat lunch just down the road at Rubio's. As we stood in line, one staff person, Helen, with extreme enthusiasm, offered to pay for my meal. She commented over a piece of information she'd learned the previous night: that her son hadn't paid me for the last few months of math tutoring I'd provided him. I had previously charged for tutoring services, but got to a point where, in my mind, I wanted to tutor her son because I considered his family like, well, family. Charging for tutoring services was really the last thing on my mind. But Helen insisted on more than paying for the meal. She wanted to pay me in full for the past three months of tutoring her son, and she did!

Thanks so much, Father, for your continual provision, for keeping Your eyes attentive to the needs of Your child.

GO

I began my office day with my coworker, Brian, with a conversation on how, from time to time, we'll meet very mature Christ followers. Just how do these people become so mature? Many times, the reason behind their maturity is because they have an unmistakable mission: they've taken up the responsibility to lead others for the sake of Christ. Just like an ordinary teacher, a leader for Christ must know the facts of what they are teaching. But unlike a teaching, a leader for Christ not only has to know the facts, they must also have lived it. Just as a shepherd leads his sheep to green pastures and still waters by having first gone ahead, a leader for Christ must have also done likewise.

An hour or two after our conversation, my dad called (My dad was going through a phase where he just seemed pretty irrational and difficult to deal with. I felt like I was suffering because of his poor planning and his poor decisions.). I wondered if it was right to let the phone continue ringing without calling him back to ask what he wanted. My guess was that he wanted me to complete an inane task--not worth a drive home. After a few minutes of wondering how I could do the least and still be in the "right" as a follower of Christ, I realized that I was asking the wrong question. The right question was "how can I best love this person who is still unlovely in this moment?" After all, God did the same for me, and my desire was to lead others for the sake of Christ. I must first go. So I called my dad back. He confirmed my initial guess: he wanted me to drive all the way back home just to do something that would take less than five minutes--move a few clothing items from the garage to my room, to be exact. Backed with the prayer of Brian, I left my office and headed home.

I arrived at my house, and turning into the driveway, I saw that my mom was also home. She could have easily done the task, however, I quickly remembered that getting my mom to do the task was not the point. The point was how I could respond in love toward someone who was unlovely at the moment, even for the past few days. So in just two minutes, I finished the task and headed back to the office. I remember driving down the windy road with a strange sensation: I felt like my entire body was sent through a barage of 10-ton steel rollers, but instead of breaking (which felt like a very real possibility), I became moldable and pliable, relinquishing control to how I thought I should learn the lessons of Christ. Simultaneously, I felt like a victory for God's kingdom had been accomplished, qualifying me to lead others similarly, and giving the world another glimpse into God's marvelous work in my life on earth.

What I learned:
Up until this point, they only thing I could sincerely pray for with regards to this situation was that God would give me the heart of a servant; my motives for asking God to change my dad would have only been for my own comfort. While driving back to the office, I understood more clearly how Jesus' example of washing His disciples' feet applied to my situation. It wasn't as if my dad himself was unlovely; it was the dirt on his feet that was unlovely; he was a human being made in God's image and just had some dirt on him. So, while driving back to the office, I asked God to wash my dad's dirty feet as I washed them likewise by serving. I know God is transforming him.

That same night my dad called me again. He wanted me, in the middle of my work day, to drive to San Jose in order to pick up a relative who was to arrive on bus. The conversation I had with Brian and the decision I made to lead others for Christ flashed through my mind. "I will do it," I said. If, in this situation, this was how I could best love the unlovely, then I would do it. If this was how I could lead others to do the same, I would do it.

These kinds of situations, for me, are like car rides. When I set out on a trip, sometimes I I find myself trying to accomplish things other than driving. I need to select the perfect road trip tunes, I need to set the right temperature, I need to send text messages, I need to pick the pepper out of my teeth in the mirror. I needed to quit all that. Let's quit all that. Let's quit waiting for the right feelings, let's quit seeking first the kingdom of our own comfort, let's quit trying get away with doing the least we can do while calling it love.

Look up. Everywhere around us the traffic lights are green to wash the beautiful feet of those whose feet have become unlovely. Let's wash them by serving, speaking, praying. Love. GO. Let God's mighty work in you shine before all.

Do you have the guts to shoot your dog?

“Dogs are idiotic ideas, stinky styles, stupid systems, failed facilities, terrible technologies, loser leaders, and pathetic people. Most churches know who and what their dogs are but simply lack the courage to pull the trigger and shoot their dogs. Therefore, it is vital to name with brutal candor the people, programs, structures, and ministry philosophies that are dogs needing to be shot. Be sure to make it count and shoot them only once so that they don’t come back and bite you.”

Mark Driscoll
Confessions of a Reformission Rev., Hard Lessons From an Emerging Missional Church

God Sighting | February 19th, 2008

Last night I found myself expressing to God that I was running out of money, and how I'd like a little bit more money to bless people with a free meal, take them out to starbucks, etc. Well, today as I was on my way home from my physical at MEPS, I got a call from someone close to me. This person told me that since I was working full time (but not for money) they wanted to support me in the work that I did. So starting today, they'd give me $200, and $500 every month thereafter. The lesson: Asking God for money isn't bad; it's all in the motive.