One Passion

S. Jobs | 8.25.2011

2011-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

While I know most people are writing near-eulogies of Steve Jobs’ resignation, I felt the need to pile on the bandwagon. It’s the general consensus, including my own, that Steve’s role and influence will be exceptionally difficult to replace—mainly because his performance was driven by something greater than management roles and CEO duties; it was driven by who he was as a person. The latter half of Apple’s existence is an expression of who Steve is as a person—deeply ingrained values forged through fire—fire that the majority are not willing to endure. There are not many who get sacked from their life pinnacles and learn credible character and life lessons. The common response, rather, is embitterment toward institutions associated with the inconvenience. It is the blaming of others and the abdication of personal responsibility to discover and rectify the problems caused by oneself.

Without having read much commentary on his leadership ability, I surmise that Jobs’ trials helped him do away with debilitating remnants of self-defeating and interpersonally-handicapping views. And while it’s true that he was quite a developed thinker with uncanny foresight—before his first departure as CEO—I would go so far to say that, without his trials, Apple would still be viewed as the early-1990’s-odd-school-kid’s-fetish, if not viewed as fatally hobbled.

But clearly, that is not Apple’s fate, and as much as it was in his ability to choose, it is not Jobs’ fate. He learned the discipline and courage to creatively harness and express beauty, nuance, and technical knack to create products that many people undeniably love to use.

A prevailing question being asked now is how Apple changed the world. The response gamut underwhelms:

“Apple lets people download music from a store”

“The iPad revolutionizes browsing the internet”

“The MacBook Air is the slimmest netbook ever created”

If these are our common responses, we’ve missed the trees for the forest. As a large result of Job’s prior hardship, Apple gave us an incredible story—a modern day narrative of boldly pushing beyond known potential, shattering the standards of excellence, and conquering adversity.

And it is in this story that I had my God Sighting. The upside aspects to this narrative reflect, in part, how God has made us in His image. The potential He’s placed in us to accomplish great things, and the ability to undergo tremendous hardship and prevail, are not accidental. The desire to create, influence, and prevail are purposefully and wonderfully built into every person by God Himself, and are fully realized in believing the person and work of Jesus, His Son.

God Sighting | September 4, 2010

2010-09-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

While at Starbucks this morning I spent some time reading, and as I read, it occurred to me, again, that Austin was full of entrepreneurial-minded people. I wanted to meet more of those people, as there was a kind of "aliveness" that was unmatched by many--an energetic, creative, risk-taking spirit. Later that day I had set out to hang out with my nephew for a while. I darted up the stairs of his apartment building and knocked on what I thought was his door. There was no answer, but from the door behind me I heard an amazing rendition of John Mayer's "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room." I wasn't sure if I was listening to a live player or if someone happened to be watching a DVD of a live performance. As far as I could tell, it was flawless, with a few stylistic improvements too. Finally one off-note tipped me off to the fact that it was indeed someone playing the song, and doing an amazing job at it. At that point, I couldn't resist--I had to knock on the door and tell them how awesome it sounded! So I did. The door opened to four guys just hanging out, with two playing guitars. We clicked on the topic of music, and when I heard that they had recently moved to Austin from Colorado to start a church plant, I couldn't help but think that God was so awesome in answering prayer that honors Him--I was literally meeting a group of entrepreneurial-minded people right then and there! My nephew joined us shortly thereafter, being just one stairwell away. We all went to Torchy's Tacos nearby for a late lunch, being greatly encouraged to find that their hearts were on mission to bring glory to the King, and that they were my nephew's neighbors at that!

God Sighting | January 29, 2010

2010-06-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

This morning I stopped by a Starbucks store nearby my workplace and rang up an order for a fantastic drink, only to realize seconds later that I had forgotten my wallet. A lady behind me realized what had happened, and offered to buy my drink. What an unexpected gesture--it really impressed a sense of bankrupt-unworthiness on me in view God’s mercy, purely because it pleases Him to have mercy. Thank You Father!

God Sighting | December 10, 2010

2010-06-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

My co worker, Darren V., stopped by my cubicle to ask if I could help fix his printer, an essential tool he needs to do his job, a job which everyone in the company relied on. He had explained how all day he’d been pulled in six different directions, and that the entire time his printer was not working, so he hadn't even been able to start his work day. As we began to walk downstairs, I said, “we’ll make it happen,” and immediately realized that I in my own power could make anything work, so I prayed in my thoughts to God, “Father, please make this printer work.”

We stepped into Darren’s office, and he started showing me what was wrong by printing using his normal process, saying, “so this is what was happening when I tried to print” and midsentence he stopped and said, “hmm, that wasn’t working all morning!”—the printer printed just fine!

God Sighting | June 10, 2010

2010-06-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

I'd begun to realize that I hadn't had many people as guests to my apartment lately, and asked the Lord last Saturday if He would let me meet someone who very much enjoyed coming over to the apartment, as quite a handful of people I frequently interact with are unable to visit regularly, if at all, due to family or distance. Yesterday I had asked the Lord to let me meet someone who enjoyed coming over to the apartment. That very day I had met up with someone to practice a song for a wedding. He and his wife live in the premiere apartment community in Austin, and so today when that same person came over to pick something up from my apartment, he surprised me by making several unsolicited comments regarding how much he really liked the apartment and its surroundings. My prayer is that the Lord would forge this into a kingdom-based, encouraging relationship.

God Sighting | April 26, 2010

2010-06-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

Asked the Lord this morning to help show me how to start a work-related, centralized information search site utilizing Google. The night before, I considered some options, however, those Google options required money. As the work day wore on, I explored the extent to which the already installed (and free) Google toolbar could be utilized. It was already capable of doing what we needed it to do! God's resourcefulness and creativity never cease to leave me in awe. I am privileged to know and follow the One who is the source of all ingenuity and creativity.

God Sighting | April 20, 2010

2010-06-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

Christopher K., a former junior high student (now college-aged) I used to hang out with, called on accident during my lunch break. We quickly reconnected, and he began sharing his doubts and questions about God and His reality. Because I was on a lunch break and ran out of time to talk, I called Chris again later that night. Great conversation ensued, with opportunities to respond to honest questions and share about God's real power with someone who I could almost view as a dear son.

God Sighting | June 6, 2010

2010-06-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

This morning I asked the Lord if I could have a Starbucks drink in order to better serve the people I was working with today, namely my supervisor and vice president, as we had a very pivotal and complex report to construct that day. I arrived at 7:30am and worked through lunch until the report's completion at around 2:30pm. The vice president asked me if I had taken a break, to which I replied that I had not, but that I was going to wonder off to Starbucks for a while. "I'll buy," she responded, "just get one for me too!" So off to Starbucks I went, knowing that the Lord provided in order that I might both enjoy the drink and serve my co workers better as a result.

God Sighting | August, 2007

2009-11-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

While interning at my local church’s youth group, I was delegated to preach a sermon relating to ‘Building the foundation of one’s life on the Rock versus the Sand.’ The night before I was to deliver the sermon, I stayed up late doing some small edits and practicing delivery—needless to say, I was pretty tired by the time I went to bed. At the crack of dawn the next morning, I was driving to the church campus and still felt pretty tired. “Starbucks would definitely be great right about now,” I thought to myself. The only problem was that I didn’t have time to stop by Starbucks, and in my year and a half internship stint, no one had ever brought me a Starbucks drink on a Sunday morning—more likely than not, I knew I would not get a Starbucks drink today. Then I remembered, “Hey, isn’t God able to do anything (according to His will)?” So I prayed, “Father, I’m really tired. I know this seems really impossible, but I’m going to ask anyway because You can do anything. Can I have a Starbuck’s drink to keep me a little more energized and awake in delivering this sermon?” And with that, I continued off the freeway exit, drove down the long, morning tinted oak-lined road and arrived at my church’s parking lot. About 20 minutes later, I was doing some prep work when I received a call from a high school student from our youth group with a peculiar announcement, “Hey Nate! I’m riding my bike to church today and I’m stopping by Starbucks, whaddya want???” Needless to say, I was blown away by God’s attention to even seemingly insignificant details, like a Starbuck’s drink. I didn’t realize that the God of the universe would bother Himself with those details; how much more would he be concerned about the bigger things?

God Sighting | October 10, 2009

2009-10-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Since my trip to Germany, I've had an acute sense of my need, among other things, to genuinely connect and surround myself with those who are clearly aiming for the same goal, with whom we can be mutually, powerfully, and regularly encouraged, in order to "hear the word of God and do it." So to fulfill the "mutually" part of that directive, today I had but one goal: to reorient and simply be satisfied with God in His word. Once again, I headed out to Mozart's Cafe. But before I had finished reading one paragraph, I got a call from an old friend, Jaron, in which the main point of the call quickly turned into many points, all of them fascinating--full of God's hope touching the lives of those who are helpless, in poverty and darkness. It was one of those conversations that I'd definitely call "blessed, exceptionally encouraging, and full of grace." After the phone call, I got some great reading in for about an hour and a half, and noticed that there was a Bible on the table of the guy next to me. I had been wrestling with a question that had come up in my reading, and asked him about it. What started off as an inquiry with Matt into a small question ended up a near five hour conversation that touched on Jesus, the journeys He'd taken us both on, similarities and differences in the lessons learned, and much more--all of it incredibly encouraging and edifying (and, oddly enough, we share the same birthday).

Thank You, Father, for affirming the Way.

God Sighting | September 28, 2009

2009-10-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Life's been quite a conglomeration of work and travel lately, with the latest trip being to Germany for a short, 3-full-day stint.

About a month a half ago, I bought plane tickets to be a part of my friend's wedding reception in Germany, sensing that I should go, but immediately cancelled the tickets the next day, seeing that I couldn't afford the trip with the onslaught of apartment rental and auto mechanic bills. Last weekend, however, as I was sitting at Johannes' wedding rehearsal, I was overcome and compelled with the sense that I should go--that it was one of those decisions with which I would look back with intense regret for not having gone, or intense gratitude that I had gone--that either God was telling me to go, or that I was going crazy. So that very night I made a point to search for and purchase plane tickets for an international flight that would depart just five days later. "God," I mentally spoke, "if this is really You telling me to go to Germany, then I will buy a ticket, no matter what the cost." The ticket that I found ended up being $80 less than the ticket I bought month prior. That was the first confirmation of God's hand in it all. The second confirmation I needed was the fact that I needed to get time off of work--if not, quitting may have been an option I was willing to consider. It was Friday night, and I would not be back at the work place until Monday. I felt like Ester or Nehemiah, making a request before the king (or in this case, my boss), just praying that God would grant me favor for time off with such short notice. I made the request the following Monday, and it was granted--Austin to Germany in three more days.

It was a trip of much needed rest and respite; I didn't realize how badly I needed it until I was there. It was a weekend where God gave me the precious rarity of placing "life-as-I've-known-it" on pause, midst a hectic conglomeration of work, church commitments, sin, and procrastination. As a result of the short, three day stay in Germany, I had much more opportunity to reflect in an environment that is both rich in relationship, yet full of autonomy. Incredibly peaceful--outside I saw the greenest fields, forest, and German-style country houses, all to a backdrop of a slow, sun-setting sky. Up till now, I'd known that things needed to change back in Austin, yet I'd rarely caught my breath enough to parse out what this change might look like. Now I was able. I had the chance to make a list of changes--resolves--of habits, things to start, and things to stop, that must take place upon arriving to Austin, for the Kingdom's sake.

God Sighting | August 1, 2009

2009-10-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

Had an entire afternoon-through-evening seafood smörgåsbord at my cousin's house today. Her family comes from a religious background, but the reality of Jesus seems far from their lives. They had a guest named Gene, who was a pretty interesting guy to talk with--a former McKinsey partner and CEO of multiple companies. It was fascinating to speak with him about his experiences and line of study--Organizational Development and Communication. The food was delicious, and as for the conversation, Gene unexpectedly shifted the conversation toward thoughts about God, His reality, and what He is like--not once, but twice. At first, I thought it was a passing comment, but when Gene brought it up again, I thought, "Ok, this is the real deal. He's really interested in this stuff." Needless to say, more interesting conversation ensued.

Back in January of 2008, my holistic prayer was that God would develop and grow me (by any means necessary) to be in positions of influence whereby I would be able to influence other people in positions of influence for the Gospel's sake. It's been interesting to see glimpses of how He's been working this out, for His glory.

Another seed planted.

God Sighting | May 2, 2009

2009-05-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Once again at Mozart's Cafe, I was with some friends when I felt drawn to go to the edge of the water and observe what God was doing with the sky around me. As I leaned over the railing with coffee in hand, God was displaying His handiwork and opened my heart to perceive His presence in it all. It was as if time itself slowed, flowing as sweet as honey, as I gazed at the blue, pink and yellow-hued sky with its setting sun. My gaze alternately fell upon the waters, illuminated by the dazzling display above. I felt like I should gaze closer into the water to look for fish, and saw a team of three fish swim by in synchrony. The turtles even made an appearance, gradually wading their way toward where I stood, then continuing on. The depths of my soul drank in the captivating palette of colors and life that the Lord was orchestrating in that very moment. I couldn't help but literally applaud His outstanding work after it all passed, just as I applaud it right now.

Lord, burn and sear this memory into my very heart and soul, so that when clouds hang on the horizon and storms blow, that I would recall, with precise vividness, how glorious and awesome your goodness remains.

God Sighting | May 9, 2009

2009-05-16T19:14:00.000-07:00

I was reading a compilation of A.W. Tozer's sermons titled "Whatever Happened to Worship?" and came across a passage that arrested me in my tracks and brought me to the point of tears:

You have read of Blaise Pascal, the famous 17th century French scientist often classed as one of the six great thinkers of all time. He was considered a genius in mathematics, and his scientific inquiry was broad. He was a philosopher and a writer, but best of all, he experienced a personal, overhwelming encounter with God one night that changed his life.

Pascal wrote on a piece of paper a brief account of his experience, folder the paper and kept it in a pocket close to his heart, apparently as a reminder of what he had felt. Those who attending him at his death found the worn, creased paper. In Pascal's own hand it read:

"From about half-past ten and night to about half-after midnight--fire! O God of abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob--not the God of the philosophers and the wise. The God of Jesus Christ who can be known only in the ways of the Gospel. Security--feeling--peace--joy--tears of joy. Amen."

...The living God had broken through and beyond all that was human and intellectual and philosophical. The astonished Pascal could only describe in one word the visitation in his spirit: "Fire!" (90 & 91)

Father, You met Pascal 354 years ago just like You wonderfully and graciously met me nine years ago in what I have only been able to describe, like Pascal, as "a massively overwhelming sense of Your power, peace, love, and security as I broke down in tears, not caring who was around me." Words to define Your greatness have since eluded me.

"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." -Jesus (Luke 15:10)

God Sighting | May 2, 2009

2009-05-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

A week ago I was "volunteered" to create a poster for The City Community Church that supplemented an event aiming to connect with people who frequently walk by with dogs before the service. I went to Mozart's Cafe on Friday night to start and complete the project, and invited my friend, Hogan, to join.

I'd never created anything on this scale before, and let alone for this kind of an audience. Hours passed with little to show. I started to get a little concerned that if I didn't start something soon, I would never finish. I prayed that God would give me ideas to create this poster, and that it would bring glory to Him. Midnight was approaching fast, and about 30 minutes before we were going to leave, Hogan had a flurry of inspiration. "Hey it would be cool if you tried this...hey it would also be neat if you did this...now this..." I confess that my initial reaction, being the "designer," was that I should have been the one with the ideas, not Hogan. But not having anything else to go on, I obliged. As we implemented his ideas, I began to see that they were very, very good.

What saving grace from God! And answer to prayer! What a reminder that the burden of creativity does not lie with me, but with Him. It is Good to know that wherever there is a desire to glorify Jesus in a way that calls upon creativity, God will provide His creativity--whatever source it might come from--to honor that desire.

God Sighting | April 4, 2009

2009-04-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

Being a Saturday, I had planned to spend the day with good friends. Toward 9PM or 10PM, I felt a strange (or rather, familiar) "prompting" to go and simply read the Bible at Mozart's cafe. I'll admit, I resisted. But the more I tried to brush it off, the more I sensed it was like God was beckoning me to just be still with Him. So, after deciding it would be better to go and see what God possibly had in store, instead of live my days wondering what I could have missed out on, I went.

Looking into the letter to the Galatian churches and Ephesian churches, my desire was for the Father to illuminate His word to me, that I would understand it, that I would know Him more. And so He did: line by line, paragraph by paragraph, idea by idea, truth by truth, wonder by wonder.

Some friends stopped by and discussed some of the things I had been observing in these letters. After they left, I was approached by two young people, a guy and a gal, possibly 18 - 20. They mentioned how it was neat to see a young person so livid about the word of God, and that they were 'Jehovah's Witnesses.' "O God, give me the power to be Your witness in this moment," I prayed silently in earnest. Not knowing too much about the doctrine of a Jehovah's Witness, asked them about various points of what they believed, to which I was asked about how I came to my interest in the word of God. Scriptures and stories of the works of God in my life began pouring from my lips like hundreds of water drops falling from a tin roof during a rain--stories linked with scripture and scripture linked with stories, the glory of His power and goodness were the only things that I cared to share about in that moment, for the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but power. Some time into the conversation, two older people, also a guy and a gal (both Jehovah's Witnesses), came and sat at my table. I brought up the subject of Jesus' deity, or lack thereof, in their view, to which opened up another door to show them the various instances in the Bible where it refers to Jesus as God.

God indeed leads. Had it not been His beckoning, I would have missed an sweet opportunity to be awed and changed by His word, as well as the chance to witness about the truth of Jesus to Jehovah's Witnesses.

God Sighting | December 24, 2008

2009-01-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

I was back in Fremont visiting friends and family over Christmas and made the usual stop at Brad and Lisa's house. One of my friends, Brian, was watching the TV show "Home Improvement," so I sat down and started watching too. Knowing he was trying to get a position within the local police department, I asked him how he fared his latest bout of qualification tests. He replied that the results were less-than-stellar, particularly with regards to the reading comprehension portion. Immediately I was reminded of a similar conversation I'd had with him months before, having suggested reading the Bible regularly as a way to improve reading comprehension (and getting exposure to the word of Christ, of course), as it had helped my own reading comprehension skill over the years. But as that memory played through my mind, I wondered to myself, should I suggest it again? Would it be just another weightless, or even offending, suggestion? Caught in the tension, I went ahead and again suggested that Brian read the Bible--very short portions, but on a regular basis. "It's boring and hard to understand," he began to reply, but was interrupted by a flashy, impeccably timed, 30-second commercial in which the announcer was exclaiming "If you have questions about the Bible, text [such and such a number]!" As we both turned our heads to watch, I couldn't help but think that I had never before seen that commercial. Since I don't tend to watch much television, there was the possibility that the same commercial had already aired numerous times, so I started to brush it off as coincidence. But just before all inkling of providence emptied from my mind, Brian blurted, "I have never seen that commercial in my entire life! Can God speak through TV???" I laughed and laughed, hardly able to reply "Yes!" I couldn't have given a more persuasive presentation than what I had just witnessed!

What a startling reminder that God can use burning bushes, talking donkeys, mud made with spit, and even television sets to affirm actions that are taken in faith, all so that people would honor and trust in Jesus, the Creator, Sustainer, and Savior of the world.

God Sighting | December 19, 2008

2009-01-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

Since I have been in Austin, my prayer has been for God to send me to those who will be responsive to His calling.

I recently met someone who recently began atteding the young adult group that I attend. As we interacted from week to week, I got the feeling that God was after him, and that he was beginning to respond. Today I had the opportunity to hang out with him in downtown Austin. As we conversed, it became clearer and clearer that, yes, God was indeed pursuing after him, and that he was indeed beginning to respond. He shared the sense of futility that overcame him the moment he put on his college graduation cap, and the question that has plagued him ever since: "Is this all there is to life?" and in turn, asked me to share how I came to trust in Jesus.

Truly, God is after him, it is my prayer that my friend comes to trust in Jesus as the redeemer of his soul and the Completer of his life.Publish Post

God Sighting | October 28, 2008

2008-10-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago, I made a clear-cut decision to move to Austin, Texas. I am leaving in five days. Am I excited? No. More than anything, it's an enormously sobering decision. It's sobering because, before God, I had to expose all my motives for moving, good and bad, and let Him conform my will to His. It's sobering because I don't have a job, nor is it my primary concern; my primary concern is to advance the cause of the gospel. It's sobering because I've never even been to Austin, I've only heard reports from friends who have gone before me. It's sobering because I expect it will simultaneously be like moving away to college and taking an overseas mission trip—having many things I can expect, and so much more I can't expect. Am I crazy? If Jesus and His gospel were false, yes. But because Jesus and His gospel are true, an emphatic no.

Last night I asked my Father to give some sort of confirmation—a sign of His delight and favor with regards to this decision. Today He did.

He gave me His sign this morning, a few moments after I walked into the computer lab on my church campus. Brian, whose "office" is also in the computer lab, told me that he had just spoken with Scott over the phone (One thing about Scott is that a few months back, he and his family moved to Austin to start a church plant. Before he left, I spent a lot of time hanging out with him, and sure, he talked a lot about living and proclaiming the gospel in Austin, but I noticed that he never once asked me to go. I figured he didn't want to directly influence my decision. I couldn't agree more.). The significance of the phone call was that God used it to show me His sweet sign: Scott revealed that he had been asking God to move me to Austin all this time! When I realized that this was exactly what I asked of my Father, I just sat in my chair in awe and thanks. Thank You so much Father for your great, great favor.

"For whoever wishes to save His life will lose it, but whoever loses His life for My sake and the gospel's will save it."—Jesus

God Sighting | October 13, 2008

2008-10-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

My days as of late had begun to look rather routine and monotonous. They usually look like this: Wake up. Gym. Computer Lab. Programming. Lunch. Programming. Home. Sleep. (Talk about having a groundhog day!)

So yesterday I asked God if I could have an extraordinarily different day today. And boy, was it different.

Different #1: Woke up at 10:30AM as opposed to 7:30AM because my alarm didn't go off. I had left my normal alarm (my cell phone) at a friend's house the night before. From the very beginning, the day started of different, and it was completely out of my control!

Different #2: Received (and replied to) two messages, one through email and one through facebook, about questions pertaining to the Bible.

Different #3: Made lunch at home. And enjoyed it.

Different #4: Arrived at the church campus (where I've been working on a graphics portfolio for the last umpteenth weeks) to find Brian, a friend who I work with, throwing away a truck full of computer gadgets, as well as an acoustic guitar. I am now enjoying that guitar, along with countless other cool computer widgets.

Different #5: Mom called and asked if I wanted to get frozen yogurt with her. I went.

Different #6: Sister showed up at the yogurt place with one of her classmates, who also happened to be our neighbor down the street. Great conversation ensued.

Different #7: Helped a friend plan an event.

Different #8: Had zero time to work on coding the flash portfolio I'd been working on, and didn't care; the entire day was such a blessing.

There you have it. A completely different day, all because God wanted to show that He cares. =)

God Sighting | September 28, 2008

2008-10-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, September 13th, people from our church organized a free oil change and car wash for single mothers. One of the first few ladies who brought in their car was grandmother named Rosalee. While her car was being serviced, I spent some time with her in our church's cafe. A few minutes later, another woman I knew, Mellie—who was deaf—sat down near us, and I invited her to join the conversation. But despite my rusty sign language, we all had a great conversation, and I translated as best I could. Toward the end of our conversation, Mellie indicated that she felt led by God to pray for Rosalee. Standing in front of Rosalee, Mellie indicated that she was going to pray for Rosalee's heart, and because nowhere in the conversation did we ever talk about physical hearts, Rosalee remarked, "God really told her to pray for me, because on Monday I'm having heart surgery!" So placing her hand on Rosalee'shead, Mellie began to pray. Apparently word got out to people servicing the cars, and everyone began praying especially for Rosalee as well!

Fast forward to Thursday, September 25th. Ryan Kwon, one of the pastors at my church, received a letter from Rosalee detailing the results from her heart surgery. It was a surgery to place stints in her clogging arteries so that she could survive a second surgery to remove a tumor. And because it was so risky, there was only one docter in Modesto, California, who was willing to operate on her. during his initial operation on Rosalee, the docter made a startling discovery: he couldn't find any clogged arteries at all! Rosalee's arteries were perfectly clean!

Our God is such an active God who supernaturally heals people to this very day! Thank you, Father, for showing yourself to be so true in a time of this country's doubt in your very real power to heal!

God Sighting | September 20, 2008

2008-09-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Today I needed to get out of the house and experience something enlivening; something different than the deadening monotony of my house, computer, and coffee shops. There was only one place I knew in Fremont that could break me out of my normal routine and surround me with lapping waves and a fresh breeze—the docks.

Driving in that area was wonderful. Upon arrival, I walked out to the end of the docks, admired the view and the breeze for a while, and talked with some anglers. As I turned to walk back to the car, I felt a bit terrified because I saw three options for the next few hours: I could drive to a coffee shop and read, I could go to the gym, or I could drive home and do nothing. Since all three options, at the moment, were about as exciting as laying in a coffin, I found myself asking God to show more of His beauty. I took the long route back toward my district, all the while carrying a deep longing to experience more of God. Taking a turn off the main road, I found myself amazed at the sight of a small, rustic-looking area. I could feel my soul and senses come alive as I slowly toured the grounds. To my left was a plot of land with some quaint looking houses nestled in luminous, golden dry grass. I also spotted a small vegetable garden with bits of rusty agricultural equipment and tools nearby. To my right was a Catholic college for nuns that looked like an ominous gothic mansion. I didn't even know Fremont had a college for nuns! And to think, this enchanting scene was tucked away behind the Mission all this time! Although I drove at a snail's pace, the tour was over in less than ten minutes. Though it was fantastic, it still wasn't enough—I had to experience more of God, and again, I asked my Father show me more.

It was early in the afternoon, and I was back on the main road. I turned onto a private street that I vaguely remembered stretched 1/4 of a mile out into the hills. I passed unnerving signs that read "NO OUTLET, TURN AROUND," (I half-expected to see a skull and cross bones to go with them) as well as signs that surprised me, reading "ROAD NARROWS NEXT 4 MILES—" I had no recollection that this road stretched four miles! I cruised forward, quickly reaching a bottleneck that forced me to reverse four times—without dropping off into the canyon—to allow four oncoming cars to pass. Forging onward, I was surrounded by rustic scenery on my left and right. I pulled the moon-roof back and lowered the windows as the car traversed the narrow, uneven, windy road, showered with sunbeams that filtered through giant oaks, eucalyptus, and other trees that shaded most of the route. It all spoke to my soul of God. The scenery on this road changed virtually every five minutes. The road threaded through hilly groves completely carpeted with red and yellow leaves and passed through small stretches of more rustic-looking houses and golden fields. It skirted along property lines of ranches with animals ranging from horses to wild turkeys, and plunged right back into serene tree groves. By this time, the awesome way in which God was unfolding His answer to my prayer gave me a heightened sense of the holiness of the moment, and ultimately, for the rest of the day. Reaching the end of the road, I headed back down, asking the Father if He would continually show me things I had missed on the way up. And He did. He gave me a glimpse of beautiful rolling hills in between tree clearings. I saw a small herd of deer, one had even grown antlers. Through a clearing in the hills, I spotted the city and the bright glow of the bay's reflection of the sky. I also noticed a refreshing creek that flowed along the entire length of the road, sometimes to the left, sometimes to the right. Nearing the road's beginning, the last thing I spotted was a fat, stunted palm tree. It was really out of place, so much so that I chuckled at the sight.

What started with the potential to be one of most lifeless days turned out to be one of the most life-giving. My soul longed for more of God, and He continually satisfied and renewed with an overflowing measure. He shows me how true of a Father He is to me and how good of a Father He is to me. Every good thing is found in Him.

God Sighting | September 19, 2008

2008-09-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

I'm so stoked because God found my blue Nalgene bottle I had lost four weeks ago during a church service! Two weeks ago, when I searched the lost and found, I was told the water bottle was probably thrown away, as only clothing items were kept. It was kind of a big bummer for me to hear since I carried and used that water bottle just about everywhere I went; those who know me can also attest to that fact! But just two or three days prior, I came to my senses and realized that if anyone could find it, it was God! What seemed impossible was now a chance for God to show that, once again, He is God of the impossible and that He sees everything—nothing is lost in His eyes! So two or three days ago, with all that in mind, I asked my Father, and a day or two later, some of my friends stumbled upon it! Even though it's such a "small" thing for God to have found, it is a GREAT reminder of how much He cares for the details of His childrens' lives.

God Sighting | July 29th, 2008

2008-07-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

Debt. It's ugly and oppressive. Over the past few weeks I'd been living out of the negative values of my bank account. I have also been praying that God would provide for me financially as I sought first His kingdom. Since the end of my term as a music director in mid-June, the flow of money has also stopped. But today, His provision clobbered my debt, in His usual--unexpected--way.

I joined a group of pastors and staff from my local church to eat lunch just down the road at Rubio's. As we stood in line, one staff person, Helen, with extreme enthusiasm, offered to pay for my meal. She commented over a piece of information she'd learned the previous night: that her son hadn't paid me for the last few months of math tutoring I'd provided him. I had previously charged for tutoring services, but got to a point where, in my mind, I wanted to tutor her son because I considered his family like, well, family. Charging for tutoring services was really the last thing on my mind. But Helen insisted on more than paying for the meal. She wanted to pay me in full for the past three months of tutoring her son, and she did!

Thanks so much, Father, for your continual provision, for keeping Your eyes attentive to the needs of Your child.

GO

2008-04-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

I began my office day with my coworker, Brian, with a conversation on how, from time to time, we'll meet very mature Christ followers. Just how do these people become so mature? Many times, the reason behind their maturity is because they have an unmistakable mission: they've taken up the responsibility to lead others for the sake of Christ. Just like an ordinary teacher, a leader for Christ must know the facts of what they are teaching. But unlike a teaching, a leader for Christ not only has to know the facts, they must also have lived it. Just as a shepherd leads his sheep to green pastures and still waters by having first gone ahead, a leader for Christ must have also done likewise.

An hour or two after our conversation, my dad called (My dad was going through a phase where he just seemed pretty irrational and difficult to deal with. I felt like I was suffering because of his poor planning and his poor decisions.). I wondered if it was right to let the phone continue ringing without calling him back to ask what he wanted. My guess was that he wanted me to complete an inane task--not worth a drive home. After a few minutes of wondering how I could do the least and still be in the "right" as a follower of Christ, I realized that I was asking the wrong question. The right question was "how can I best love this person who is still unlovely in this moment?" After all, God did the same for me, and my desire was to lead others for the sake of Christ. I must first go. So I called my dad back. He confirmed my initial guess: he wanted me to drive all the way back home just to do something that would take less than five minutes--move a few clothing items from the garage to my room, to be exact. Backed with the prayer of Brian, I left my office and headed home.

I arrived at my house, and turning into the driveway, I saw that my mom was also home. She could have easily done the task, however, I quickly remembered that getting my mom to do the task was not the point. The point was how I could respond in love toward someone who was unlovely at the moment, even for the past few days. So in just two minutes, I finished the task and headed back to the office. I remember driving down the windy road with a strange sensation: I felt like my entire body was sent through a barage of 10-ton steel rollers, but instead of breaking (which felt like a very real possibility), I became moldable and pliable, relinquishing control to how I thought I should learn the lessons of Christ. Simultaneously, I felt like a victory for God's kingdom had been accomplished, qualifying me to lead others similarly, and giving the world another glimpse into God's marvelous work in my life on earth.

What I learned:
Up until this point, they only thing I could sincerely pray for with regards to this situation was that God would give me the heart of a servant; my motives for asking God to change my dad would have only been for my own comfort. While driving back to the office, I understood more clearly how Jesus' example of washing His disciples' feet applied to my situation. It wasn't as if my dad himself was unlovely; it was the dirt on his feet that was unlovely; he was a human being made in God's image and just had some dirt on him. So, while driving back to the office, I asked God to wash my dad's dirty feet as I washed them likewise by serving. I know God is transforming him.

That same night my dad called me again. He wanted me, in the middle of my work day, to drive to San Jose in order to pick up a relative who was to arrive on bus. The conversation I had with Brian and the decision I made to lead others for Christ flashed through my mind. "I will do it," I said. If, in this situation, this was how I could best love the unlovely, then I would do it. If this was how I could lead others to do the same, I would do it.

These kinds of situations, for me, are like car rides. When I set out on a trip, sometimes I I find myself trying to accomplish things other than driving. I need to select the perfect road trip tunes, I need to set the right temperature, I need to send text messages, I need to pick the pepper out of my teeth in the mirror. I needed to quit all that. Let's quit all that. Let's quit waiting for the right feelings, let's quit seeking first the kingdom of our own comfort, let's quit trying get away with doing the least we can do while calling it love.

Look up. Everywhere around us the traffic lights are green to wash the beautiful feet of those whose feet have become unlovely. Let's wash them by serving, speaking, praying. Love. GO. Let God's mighty work in you shine before all.

Do you have the guts to shoot your dog?

2008-03-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

“Dogs are idiotic ideas, stinky styles, stupid systems, failed facilities, terrible technologies, loser leaders, and pathetic people. Most churches know who and what their dogs are but simply lack the courage to pull the trigger and shoot their dogs. Therefore, it is vital to name with brutal candor the people, programs, structures, and ministry philosophies that are dogs needing to be shot. Be sure to make it count and shoot them only once so that they don’t come back and bite you.”

Mark Driscoll
Confessions of a Reformission Rev., Hard Lessons From an Emerging Missional Church

God Sighting | February 19th, 2008

2008-03-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Last night I found myself expressing to God that I was running out of money, and how I'd like a little bit more money to bless people with a free meal, take them out to starbucks, etc. Well, today as I was on my way home from my physical at MEPS, I got a call from someone close to me. This person told me that since I was working full time (but not for money) they wanted to support me in the work that I did. So starting today, they'd give me $200, and $500 every month thereafter. The lesson: Asking God for money isn't bad; it's all in the motive.

God Sighting | February 28th, 2008

2008-03-24T17:57:00.001-07:00

In the past week or so, God has been strongly impressing on me the utmost importance of dependence on Him through prayer and esteeming of His word above all else. I'd been watching a documentary on Hillsong United and was flabbergasted to learn that Hillsong church was started in 1993. It's a local church in Sydney, Australia, that has had an undeniable, inspiring impact on the world, locally and globally. Churches all across the world sing songs composed by people who are a part of Hillsong church. The church I'm currently a part of was started in 1966, but the perceived impact that my local church has had on the world contrasted with the perceived impact that Hillsong has had is stark. In terms of financial resources, man power, and technology, the difference between the two churches in negligible. What's the difference then? I'm convinced that the difference lies in the degree of our dependence (or lack thereof) on God's power to do God's work and an esteeming of His word above all else, for it's the only reason for how we can know the nature of God's work.

This past week, the team I work with had committed ourselves to real, genuine, dependent prayer for the Lord to accomplish His good work in our midst, and for His word to be continually esteemed above all else. And last night during our youth program, He made Himself known in a powerful way that was undeniable by all who were present. Everyone knew it. I even got a phone call from a youth leader who exclaimed, "IT WAS AWESOME ON TOP OF AWESOME!!!"

"The Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power." 1 Corinthians 4:20

"The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent." John 6:29

A Grand and Noble "Era"

2007-11-10T23:23:00.001-08:00

June 16, 2007|Davis, CA—I sit here on this couch and look around at our semi-cluttered living room. I look at these walls, these pictures, these shoes. I hear the song "Beautiful One" playing in the background. In all these things, I remember how good it was to have been a part of such a grand, noble era. I feel the weight of sadness as I realize that this grand era, this house, this community, as an emergent beacon of light from the norm of typical college life is come to a close; it has ended; the chapter has changed. While I was in it and a part of it, I took it for granted. The last year and a half I took it for granted. I will learn never to do that again.

I remember the music, the people, the sounds of guitar, the sight of food, the smell of cooking. I have been so privilaged to have been a part of and pioneer of this era. It was not anything expected; a few others and I simply had a shared desire to use this house for its given purpose: To be a beacon of light and refreshment to all who entered the house. We did that by our collective desire and pursuit of God. We did it by asking God to profoundly impact others through our acts of service. Our acts of service were these: Cooking for others, cleaning for others, talking with others, making music with others, having Bible studies with others, praying with others, going out of our way to serve and help others, suspending "important" tasks we were doing and pushing through times we felt tired. We even did all these things while we did not have an entirely "Christian" household! I did my part with my abilities, and others joined in to help; others did their part with their abilities, and I joined to help. It was simple: we were fiercely unified in love for one another—a band of brothers—and we served with our capabilities, both when we felt like it and when we didn't, because it was good and right—it was Christlike.

God help me remember that the Spirit of the universe—the Spirit of unending goodness—lives in me and acts through me, from the smallest of deeds to the greatest. With prayer and love expressed through service and words, this God who lives in me can burgeon a light, a movement, once more, though it may not have the same faces, it will be just as powerful none-the-less, and will bless those who those who are touched by it and those who choose to be a part of it. I began this entry two hours ago deplete with sadness, but end it with hope and joy as I realize this profound truth: The grand, noble Era is in me; the Movement is in us.

God Sighting | October 16, 2007

2007-11-04T16:34:00.001-08:00

I can only deduce that yesterday I was launched into a kind of spiritual warfare, a kind that plunged me into a depression to the point of physical dizziness and wanting to go to bed and die. It came suddenly, but when it left, it left just as quickly. In the midst of the fray, I wrote down two prayer requests:

1. The Lord would put me in an environment of covenant love. I realize that the last two years were notably lacking in this, which further excaberated certain hardships that were encountered.

2. To be focused on opportunities of today, and not worries of tomorrow. This was a response to, in part, the war that was going on in my mind yesterday.

Today I had time to go to a newly formed, small family of college-aged people. Before we got started, we passed around a sheet to sign with some previously agreed upon values shared by those in the group. The point of it was to provide a safe environment for growth and frankness. The last line of it contained the phrase, “I covenant together with the other members of the group to honor this agreement.” Answered prayer. Uninhibited, tears of thankfulness would have fallen right then and there. And by the end of our time together, it definitely proved to be that kind of environment. As for the prayer to focus on opportunities of today, I was able to get started on a long overdue letter of appreciation to someone.

Now, my prayer is that I can drop a badly taught class without major consequences so that I can have more time to meet together like this, and also to serve in the capacity given me.

“Hallelujah, He has found me,
the One my soul so long has craved.
Jesus satisfies
all my longings,
through His blood I now am saved.”

God Sighting | October 29, 2007

2007-10-29T19:03:00.001-07:00

Another bout of feeling down led to prayer for encouragement and affirmation regarding environmental engineering route. Went to sleep, felt better. Recalled answer to prayer about applications to engineering that would glorify Him in my life--the same night I found EDAW. Talked to Johannes. At 6:40 PM dad mentions that a family friend is working with a professor regarding environmental engineering. Later, he shared an interesting story about a project he and some others did with a fish in a lake--recording heart beat regularity in polluted and non-polluted areas of a lake. I recalled my prayer. Sounded interesting. Sounded like a potential answer to prayer.

God Sighting | October 27, 2007

2007-10-27T23:10:00.001-07:00

Yesterday night was another one of those lonely, Fremont, Friday nights. I spent about five hours at the Border's coffee shop looking up major programs at various colleges, as well as professors and their research interests. When I came home I was again at one of those now-familiar lows--one in which I wondered, again, what worth there was to reading the Word. I sat down on a little white throw rug in my room, talking to God about the frustrations regarding where I was in life, my fears of feeling like I was destined to live an unexciting, insignificant life, and my inability to discern what I'm really passionate about, occupation wise, for His kingdom. In that moment, I think He brought to mind some key ideas about encouragement, it's pivotal role in my life, and its imperative role in the lives of others (I'll write more about it later). I think it was Him because that low-point feeling quickly left as soon as He began bringing those thoughts to my mind. He brought to mind a select few people I've known who have been constant sources of encouragement whenever I've spent time with them, and as a result, I've determined to start spending my time interacting with these people more intentionally and more frequently.

I also found myself praying that He would let me be a part of a big family, full of joy and excitement, where I could love others and be loved. Well, this Saturday morning I left my house to join what I thought would be a four to five person, college-aged group hike to Mission Peak. It turned out to be a 15+ person hike--parent-aged people, post college-aged people (I didn't know Max and Monica were going to be there too!), college-aged people, and junior high-aged kids! Afterwards, Max, Monica, and I were invited over to Steve M.'s house for some corn dogs, refreshments, hot tub, stories, and laughs. Kyle D. and his girlfriend even dropped by! So the answer to that prayer didn't come in the form of a big, biological family; it was a big family in Christ, blessing one another and being blessed during and after the hike, a family that was definitely full of joy and excitement.

God Sighting | September 22, 2007

2007-10-09T14:09:00.000-07:00

From September 19th up until a few hours ago I was at a very dull low. Everything in life just bored me; it was all so dull. The only thing that seemed to bring life were people I knew who were out to change the world in Jesus name. Some of the people I thought of were D.T. and K.W. My prayer that afternoon was that the Lord would “connect me with a group of people who can, will, and do change the world in His name.” I even remember thinking “how in the world do you meet people like that? Is there a website where people like this go to?” Well, after Max’s wedding today, I went to the Border’s coffee shop in Fremont to work on some math homework. It seemed like the only open table was next to a guy who had a sign up that said “R U an ARTIST?” I asked him about it, and through that we started chatting a little bit, and I drew some things for him. He definitely had an eccentric personality, and he was the first to admit it. As our banter progressed, I saw an open table a few minutes later and thought "I could switch over there and not have to be in an awkward situation if this conversation goes south." At the same time I had another thought, "Maybe God wants to do something through this conversation. Stay." I stayed, and the table was taken, so I was locked in my spot with the eccentric guy. Eventually I asked him why he was going to college, and he answered, “because I want to change the world.” What did he say?? He wants to change the world. I’d never heard this kind of a response to that question from anybody, ever. My ears were perked! It was what I was just praying for a few days ago! Needless to say, really good conversation proceeded from that. It touched on what made him tick, and even Christianity a tad, and I found out that he’d gotten burned by being in a bible study with cult-like "Christians" in the past. Hopefully, I can be one way he can really see the truth and freedom of Christ. I learned that his name is Ferron. He said he's at border's every weekend, and I hope to be able to meet up with him regularly there in the future.

And aside from all that, God also answered prayer in another incredible way. Just an hour after returning home from meeting Ferron at Borders, I received an email from a friend, D.C.T. In it, she wrote,

"Nathan Na-Goo-Yen, Hey, let me know if you've received the package:) I hope I sent it to the right address!! You know what's so cool? I decided to make a ministry out of this!!!! Not exactly a care package (maybe....it takes a lot of time though), but Carey and I want to send encouraging letters to people like once a week!!! Isn't that such a neat idea? God, totally spoke to me through some people to do this!"

So I checked my mailbox, realizing that it hadn't been checked for two days. I found it stuffed with mail, along with the package mentioned in the email. The reason why this package was so significant was because in the past two or three days I had been praying that God would send help to me, because after moving back to Fremont from Davis, I just felt more and more dead as the weeks wore on. I was talking to God saying, "Father, I really think that the best thing I can do for others and myself is to be on fire for you, but I just can't. I need help. I need encouragement!" That was on Wednesday night, September 19th. Confident that He would answer, all Thursday (my long school day) I was looking to see just how (or through whom) He would provide. By the end of my class at 10:20 pm, I was walking to my car with a classmate and was thinking "God, did I miss it? Did you provide somehow and I just didn't recognize it?" By last night I was at a low, low point, and was praying "Father, I simply can't see your goodness in 'the now.' I see how you love me, but I can't see how you 'like' me. If you just haven't shown because I haven't asked, then show me that you really LIKE me. If it's already there and I just haven't seen it, open my eyes to see it!"

So tonight, on September 22nd, I received the package mentioned in the email. Opening it, I found it full of items like skittles, gum, batteries, and pens, each with a sticker attached with a verse written relating to God's promise, power, etc. Another item was a collection of note cards held together by a keyring, each card having a verse written on it for each day, 21 days total. Enclosed was a note that read something to the point of, "This package is to encourage you!" Funny, because I didn't tell anybody about what I had prayed on September 19th. I checked the postmark to see when it was sent: it was postmarked September 19th! WOW GOD SENT HELP THE DAY I ASKED!!! THE SAME DAY I prayed for God to send help--in the form of encouragement! I didn't miss it; He literally "sent" it through the mail--it was on it's way all along! God is WOW! (Worthy Of Worship! =)

An act of obedience prompted by D.C.T.'s faith definitely blessed me, and I know it will be a continual blessing to remember even when the encouraging cards run out of days!

A child in his Father's care. Definitely blessed.

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
Isaiah 65:24

This was something I HAD to tell her about right away, and so I emailed her what had just happened. Her reply read:

"God is definitely WORTHY OF WORSHIP. He is always listening and answering all our prayers. Honestly, I could not think of what to put in the package for the life of me. I have never done a care package, but it's almost like God's invisible hand was pushing me to do it. Just a couple days before I sent out your package, I suddenly had all these ideas of what to put in there. Aside from that, I wanted to send it out a couple weeks ago, but I was just SO swamped with work among other things. Raquel and I prayed that you would get it when you needed it the most, and that you would be reminded of how much God loves you. Now, even when I was done with the package, I was lagging about sending it out. I told Jon multiple times that I would send it out, but I never did because I was so busy. Then on Wed, Sept. 19, I had this strong urge to send it out. It's was like this great force--God. I dropped everything that I was doing just so I could go to the post office. So I was thinking that the timing was perfect, because you would have received it on Thursday, your longest school day! But, YOU DID NOT CHECK THE MAIL! Yes, God sent you encouragements right when you needed it, total answer to my prayer:)"

"With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

God Sighting | September 18, 2007

2007-10-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up rather early, 7:30AM, and thought, I’ll have plenty of time this morning to get ready for the day. But I fell back asleep until 8:45AM, and class started at 9:15AM. I needed to leave the house by 8:55AM to be on time—barely enough time to grab a breakfast bar, but still not enough to hold me over until classes ended at 1:35PM. I prayed that God would let me have some lunch today, somehow, someway. He answered. We had the shortest lab in chemistry today (which usually overlaps with a class afterwards), which left me with an hour before my next class, allowing me to go to the Transfer Day event, subway, Starbucks, and make it to my class in time. Thanks Father for giving me my daily bread.

God Sighting | November 11, 2002

2007-08-18T11:55:00.001-07:00

This is simply amazing and so great! I few months ago I had asked God to not allow me to instruct anyone anything from His word that I had not gladly and willfully obeyed. Within the past few days, I'd had a dilemma regarding driving my dad places. He recently had his license revoked, and was asking me to drive him to Palo Alto which took two and a half hours. He also asked me to then bring the carpool to school everyday at 7:20 AM, then on top of that, asked me to pick some lady up from the San Jose airport at 7:20 AM on a Sunday. Bringing him to Palo Alto was drudgery enough. No matter what I just couldn't seem to do it with much joy and gladness o the Lord at all. I was not having very good attitudes in my heart towards my dad. I was desperate for a word from the Lord to transform my ugly heart. So before I took a nap two days before writing this, I just opened the Bible to where my bookmark was, and as I began to read, my eyes crossed over His word to me: Delight in showing mercy. So I just begged God to put in me the desire to delight in showing mercy, and took a nap thereafter Later that night, I just asked God to give me a fresh, brand new start-to renew my love for Him once again. He answered, and that night I went to bed in repentance, shedding off all my guilt before Him. Basically today, with and only the help of the Lord working through a brother, I obeyed. To make a long story short, I received an email from Doug (the junior high youth pastor at the time) with the Sunday morning small group discussion outlines attached. The topic: OBEDIENCE! The Lord is truly sovereign over everything and I thank Him so much for reminding me about that,and for being faithful to what I had asked that was honoring to Him, even when I'd forgotten. Jesus, You are good all the time. Thank You Father, Most High. May my heart be fully Yours. Reign. Be the King of my life. Amen.

Feed My Lambs

2007-08-13T00:31:00.000-07:00

In taking another look at the story of the Loving Samaritan, I’ve seen another perspective on one’s neighbor: whomever I perceive to have a need that I can meet through Christ, or can help meet. At times, I have mistakenly thought that loving someone meant that I was to be their life-long, best friend. In this story, love wasn’t necessarily about the Samaritan being a life-long best friend to the injured man; I think he would have rather said, “I’m wounded. My need is for someone to take care of my wounds, no matter who it is.” So, in general, it’s helpful for me to ask, “If I put myself in so-and-so’s shoes, what would my need be?”

But when I ask that question, I recall certain people I’ve known who I’ve had difficulty discerning their need of the moment or season. I’ve had difficulty either because their lives seem to be going so great all the time, or because they have been so introverted that their need is unperceivable. But now, different events and circumstances have gotten me to realize that despite this, there has always been a need, whether or not it was realized or articulated. That need, I’ve realized, is the need to be led in the way of Christ. So often, I’ve wanted to bring these people on par as peers, having the expectation that they have the ability, the capability, the motivation, to lead themselves (be led by Christ). Experience has proved otherwise—without an active leading figure in their lives, many will cast off restraint, going through long seasons of self-indulgence. As a result, I realize that the same message that was driven home during my second year in Davis is being driven home to me now: “Lead my people; feed my lambs.”

True, Spirit-empowering leadership in my life has always been a direct result of my quenched thirst to have more of Christ in all of my life. It supernaturally renews my own life, and gives new life of those around me. And whether said or unsaid, the need for many is to be led. God grant me a continued thirst and quenching of that thirst to faithfully carry out what He’s entrusted.

“Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law.”
Proverbs 29:18

God Sighting | August 18, 2002

2007-04-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

Glory to God forever! In His wisdom and power, the Lord provided a time of deep conversation in His almighty presence with Jaron. Guiding our words and our entire day, in fact. He provided a truly blessed time in which was completely glorifying to Him. It was during these moments that the Lord, our Father, set Jaron free from burdens that have troubled his soul for months. Glory to God! Hallelujah! Truly, I am most unworthy of such opportunities. Revealing more of Himself and His ways, the Lord's awesomeness continue to remind me of how unworthy I am, an how worthy and great He is. The Lord just not reminded me of how desolate I was regarding my ability to converse and communicate and how He, because of His grace and mercy, displays His power before me by doing through me what I was once weak in. I cannot fully explain in words. I cannot fully comprehend His unfathomability. The Lord God is faithful. Father, I cannot put into words what my spirit longs to express about You. You are the One who is. In the name of Jesus, I thank You. Your will be done. Amen.

God Sighting | June 10, 2002

2007-03-30T15:29:00.001-07:00

The Lord working through Bekah and Rob. The Lord using me to help Nathan in his time of need. The Lord using me to help Audrey in her time of need. The Lord blessing Jordan and Jaron. The Lord revealing to me how fantastically His nature surpasses knowledge. I am so unworthy. Glory to God in all things.

God Sighting | May 31, 2002

2007-03-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

I am so glad, so privileged, to witness the power of the Lord working in two junior highers' lives--Jaron and Jordan. From their prayer and praise cards, I can see that they understand that the Lord is sovereign over everything in their lives. You are indeed a sovereign and almighty Lord who serves the utmost reverence.

God Sighting | May 26, 2002

2007-03-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

I want to praise God for the good work that He is accomplishing in one junior higher's life! Through a message on Wednesday night, he received the resolve to repent in an area where there was sin, praise Jesus for the awesome power He uses in stirring and convicting people to obedient repentance. Lord, give us Your power, for without it, we are helpless to do Your work. Sanctify us and anoint us. Father in Jesus name, amen.

God Sighting | May 5, 2002

2007-03-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

At a youth leader training seminar I recently attended, I was reminded of what an inspiration a good family friend was to me: he bears the fruit of the Spirit to such an extent that you know that it can only come from God. He treats you as if he only knew you and your family; when in reality he has the same kind o love for many other people and their families--that is an inspiration.. Over the past few months, I have seen again and again my mother's goodness that flows from the Holy Spirit who resides in her. Over the past few months, the Lord has taught me much about the importance of humility and other timeless truths through His servants' preachings and writings. Repeatedly, the Lord God, my Father, has given me provisions in abundance. I don't deserve this! I want to give it all back to Him!! Thank You Father! He also gave me an opportunity to bless some junior high students today, bringing them to see a movie and grow relationally together.

I want to see God at work much more in my life and the lives of others, because His kingdom is not one of talk, but power. I want to continually witness this power.

I want to be in touch with Him so deeply that I'm able to lead and teach junior highers from that overflow--the overflow of God's Holy Spirit.

God Sighting | January 30, 2002

2007-03-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have news of some great blessings that God's just rained down on me. He's begun a new season of most sincere blessings in my life. Where can I start? The Lord's provided me with everything I need and more. I most sincerely know and feel that "who am I" to deserve these things? But I most certainly will not hold back from gratefully receiving them. The Lord found it good and pleasing to bestow onto my junior high ministry $50 a month to take junior high students out! This is incredible!! I cannot work, so before this, it was extremely difficult to acquire enough money to do these things. It is very clear that Lord is expanding my opportunities. Two weeks ago, under His Spirit's direction, I was able to write many letters to different students. Lord, would You help me in keeping to be faithful to the things You've entrusted me with? In the name of Christ Jesus.

God Sighting | January 19, 2002

2007-03-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

The Lord forgives. Thank You Lord. When I stumble, I know You're disappointed, but because I'm Your child, Your son, I can take refuge in Your forgiveness and be corrected. You, Father, You have mercy on whom You have mercy. All Your ways are just, good, and right. I take refuge in Your discipline. Thanks Father for forgiving me. Everlasting forgiveness. Even in my weakness You are willing to use me just to show Your love to Cody. Use me again in anything You wish, as You find it pleasing to Your will. In the name of Jesus.

God Sighting | December 9, 2001

2007-03-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the Lord blessed me in His answer to my prayer. I asked earnestly and sincerely that He would give me the ability to share the Great News with anyone at any place, boldly, encouragingly, and convincably. His answer to me is: "It is My will, go and be blessed and bless others." This last week I had opportunities to share the Gospel with two people. Then, last night, the Lord working through me exhorted a fellow sister in Christ. Also that same night, He gave me a chance to continue sharing with Michelle and Vince. May God's convicting power lie upon them both. In the name of Christ, amen.

God Sighting | December 5, 2001

2007-03-11T15:25:00.000-07:00

I am very glad that the Lord showed me how tremendously empty my attempts were at changing people and faulty ways of thinking. At the time, I was not aware that I was relying on my own "intelligence" and cleverness. In doing this, He prevented me from continuing the disastrous mistake of not doing all thing in His time and through His strength and power. I've realized through God's repeated remindings that if how I act and what I do does not come from the overflow and leading of the Holy Spirit, it will never be genuine fruit of the Spirit—the kind that will leave people in awe of God's undeniable power and goodness. Amen. The Lord, in His good pleasure, has reminded me of vast numbers of people who affirmed their friendship in youth group to me. His goodness was also shown to me through my mother, who selflessly made food for me when I felt so fatigued after coming back from the mall. The Lord renewed His strength in me to go on, in order to touch the lives of junior high students for His Kingdom through love, the overflow and leading of the Holy Spirit. The Lord reminded me that our attempts were not in vain—that junior high students have actually gravitated toward the love that God manifests in me. Amen. Praise be to Jesus forever. Praise to the Lord.

God Sighting | November 30, 2001

2007-03-08T00:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after my morning class, I felt so utterly exasperated as I was beginning to feel the day before. But I called on Jesus, in earnest and sincerity, for Him to renew me with His strength. In a very short while, I felt as if God provided me with as much strength as I needed to do whatever had to be done, for the glory of Him. As it has been promised: "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." The Lord is faithful.

God Sighting | November 27, 2001

2007-03-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm excited about what the Lord is doing now in my life: presenting me with new venues by which to convict others of the life which comes only through Jesus--knowledge to be used in humility and love for His kingdom's sake; knowledge to be used with utmost discernment--carefully and sparingly. I praise You Lord!

My prayer is that I may yield much and overwhelming fruit of the Holy Spirit, that people would see and be in awe of God.

God Sighting | November 25, 2001

2007-03-06T13:44:00.000-08:00

Over the course of the past few weeks, the Lord has been able to change and use me in very unfamiliar ways. First, He gave me the opportunity to bring Cody B. out to dinner at McDonald's and bowling. God's also been convicting me to totally desire that my time be invested for His kingdom. He's also realized to me that the Spirit filled and led and empowered life is the norm for a Christian. Amen forever.

My prayer is that the Lord will provide for me Spirit filled and led friends, who are a strong influence on me and an inspiration.

God Sighting | October 21, 2001

2007-03-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

I've been asking the Lord to help me realize how I can better invest my time during the week. He has answered my prayer faithfully because He fount it to be pleasing to His will. reading a section of the book of Daniel last night, it gave me a hope--a hope for the Lord to fulfill His prophesies in his word, thereby affirming His sovereignty to the world in all matters. Even though it means a time of terrible distress, I long to see His prophesy fulfilled in my lifetime here on this world. The Lord is with me always. He's a faithful friend and always will be. Thank You Father.

God Sighting | July 27, 2001

2007-03-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

Remembering a few days ago, Scott told me about God using him to help some girl that messaged him online. Also, Niki told me that through my own example/passion for God, it has sparked such a desire in her to be so much more knowledgeable about the God who she follows. She said this is why God has been having us hang out so much lately. Praise God for this. to Him be all the glory for using me as a vessel of His changing power.

God Sighting | July 25, 2001

2007-03-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

Witnessing the Lord speak through August was, simply put, amazing. At first, August said she didn't know what to say, then she started pouring out encouragement that builds inspiration, and advice that completely stepped towards the solution of the problem.

God Sighting | July 24, 2001

2007-03-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

The Lord worked through us in feeding the homeless in Berkeley. I know that during my time there I was being led by the Spirit, although at the same time I was very much afraid. I hear the Lord calling me to come closer, and I respond. the only thing I long for is to abide. I sense the Lord's hand at work in my friendship with Brad. This is a good thing, and may He continue what is being rekindled. At Scott's church, I've heard the Lord speaking through the new youth pastor, Chad, and see and long to see more of God using him. I've been hearing of God touching people through visitor cards, witnessing that taking out just a little bit of time for people can have profound, lasting impressions and make so much of a difference in someone's life. I experienced God speaking through me in speaking with Maya, Anna, and Nikki. I've been overwhelmingly blessed with the privilege of spending time with new people.

God Sighting | July 6, 2001

2007-03-01T15:23:00.001-08:00

How I've heard of deliverance in Molly's life in her relationship with her father and step-mother! And the desire that the Lord has put in her heart to ignite a fire in her youth ministry. In these days past, my tender Lord has continually reminded me that no relationship will ever offer fulfillment except the one with Him. He has been gently reminding me that the only thing that matters for me is that I draw closer to Him. Abide in Him--we must be together. I was given an opportunity to serve both in the Fuellenbach house and the high school youth room. The opportunity has also been presented to me to spend time with Ryan S., blessing him in that way. On the 4th, I was given the opportunity to learn a new skill that would bless my parents with flooring. Earlier today, the Lord also blessed me in allowing me to converse with my mother. I praise the living God for His worthiness, and for allowing me to see His unceasing power at work in my life, as well as the lives of others.

God Sighting | June 30, 2001

2007-02-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

The Lord fostered a closer bond between Brian F., Jeff O., and myself.

God Sighting | June 27, 2001

2007-02-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was blessed to be in the company of Matt and Trace. There are so many new people at youth group now. There's no way I can remember everyone's name, but I'm excited that they're there. Once again, I heard of the work that the Lord accomplished in students' lives while they were at summer camp in Matt and Alicia's testimonies.

God Sighting | June 26, 2001

2007-02-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

I was reminded once again of how desperately I needed the grace of the Lord, and how incredibly thankful I am for it. God blessed me with some belts through my graduation money. I was blessed with time to spend with Anna, Jason, Scott, James, Ter, and another girl. I enjoyed my time spent a lot, but I'm beginning to sense that the more time I take out for myself means that I see less of God working, even when the reality is that He is quite active working around me.

God Sighting | June 25, 2001

2007-02-25T20:33:00.000-08:00

I knew the Lord's Presence was keeping me company today while I wandered around bookstores. He worked through my mom and blessed me with lunch. He blessed me with some small journals and an awesome CD.

God Sighting | June 24, 2001

2007-02-24T00:25:00.000-08:00

I received a blessed opportunity today to go to the beach for Brian's birthday. I was also blessed by getting to know new people more, and having an enjoyable conversation with the Floyd sisters, Julie, and Julie's friends.

God Sighting | June 23, 2001

2007-02-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

As I awoke in the morning, I felt the blesing of a pleasant day. The Lord blessed me with the company of four people, two of whom stopped by at a different time than the other two. God also gave me the opportunity to bless Brian F. by using my gift card to buy a card for his birthday, and to spend time writing and drawing in it.

God Sighting | June 22, 2001

2007-02-23T00:23:00.000-08:00

The Lord provided us with a safe, smooth ride back home from summer camp. I sense His hand at work in cultivating a closer relationship with S.D. and myself. The Lord God is good, great, and answers prayer indeed! I have heard of the Lord invoking resolve for change in the way Josh treats certain people like his father. I have heard of Justin accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior Christ into His heart. I also heard many other testimonies of other students about realizations and growth in faith. I have witnessed the Lord allowing me opportunities to bless with my money. May I continue to be aware of opportunities the Lord gives me to bless. Also, I heard from Travis, a young boy I met while at camp, who told me about the Lord's leading in K. Ciullo's life to accept him as Lord and Savior. Amen.

God Sighting | June 21, 2001

2007-02-22T13:08:00.000-08:00

In the Holy Spirit, Brian Berry expressed his concern to me: to be more discerning, more objective, in my listening to speakers.

I've been recalling a very low confident, insecure, young woman who I met on our February ski trip. Now at summer camp, through her resolve and through the loving support and dedication of her cabinmates, both induced by the Holy Spirit's work, I have witnessed the beginnings of a more whole, daughter in Christ--more confident, more secure, truly content. Amen.

I was graced to see, through the Holy Spirit's conviction, students being moved and changed. May this not be proven false: S.D. has expressed his resolve to lay down his life for the Lord--to be reborn. Answered prayer, to God be the glory. Through the Holy Spirit's conviction, S. entrusted me with what Satan has used to keep him prisoner. May he now be forever freed from Satan's trap of guilt and condemnation. May he go in peace.

God Sighting | June 19, 2001

2007-02-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

This evening I witnessed a great moving by the Holy Spirit convicting many hearts through the speaker. I am so glad the message weighed on so many hearts. All day today, God has been leading people to me to talk with them about things they ordinarily wouldn't have talked with anyone else. The Lord has also been bestowing a spirit of boldness, even more noticable today.

God Sighting | June 18, 2001

2006-12-20T23:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight there was a group discussion with Brian Berry and the entire guys' lodge. In it, I got to hear about how God is incredibly filling Brian (a student) with a desire to go so much deeper into learning and truly being like the Lord. Scott told about how tonight's message of being "born again" was exactly what he needed to hear--one of his answered prayers. I am beginning to witness the Lord's hand in Scott's life here at summer camp. May I continue to see unimaginably more of that. I witness the leading of the Spirit when I lead group discussions here at camp. We cover the topics listed in the discussion packet. I witness our group bring so much more open with each other than I ever anticipated.

Chronicles

2006-12-20T01:55:00.000-08:00

About one year after a life-transforming encounter with the Almighty, His day-to-day workings are chronicled as seen and experienced through the life of His child. They are God Sightings—"capturing miracles day by day." From its inception, the purpose of this journal has been to freely share these actual encounters--how the power of the Most High God has and is working in and through my own life and in the lives of others--with those who would be phenomonally encouraged by its reading. May it bring glory, forever and ever, to the One who was, is, and is to come.
--
God Sighting//June 17, 2001

My expectation for this week [at summer camp] is to mostly be affirmed; Lord be it that He continually teaches me something new as I keep an open mind. I can see the beginnings of the burdens to bless others which I'm eager to carry—namely, the desire to see my cabinmates grow closer together, and to facilitate as much as I can [in that process]. The Lord has already given me an opportunity tonight to lead a group discussion with Justin, Josh, & Scott.

Who are your friends?

2006-12-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

I do not profess that I have profound wisdom, but if the LORD is speaking, let me hear and carefully consider:

To date, on three separate occasions, and from three different people, I have heard the distress and tension of a vexing question: "How can I remain friends with another person when there is a reminder of searing pain whenever there is contact with that person?"

Another question offers me further clarification: What is a friend? Aside from the many whose answers to this question will vary greatly, there is an answer that I believe God reveals in His word accounting the night of Jesus' betrayal.

One thing that I found peculiar was that Jesus, at the moment he was betrayed, called Judas His friend. Did I read that correctly—Judas was Jesus' friend?? How can that be so? How can it be that the he who was one of the causes of Jesus' pain and suffering be called His friend? Any so-called friend who would maliciously cause me pain, or betray me, especially over to death, is no friend of mine—at least that's what the mean, median, and mode of the populus has taught me.

And that's where Jesus' light illumined this mind of mine that was once dark. Mere minutes after sweating drops of blood while crying out to the almighty Father, mere seconds before He was handed over, Jesus, staring at the face of him whom He walked with, talked with, and knew intimately—His betrayer—called him "friend." My Lord's shown me that a friend is not the one who has my best interests in mind, but the one whom I have his or her best interests in mind; a friend is not someone who loves me, but someone whom I love. Judas did not have Jesus' best interest in mind, but Jesus had his in mind. It's a reiteration of what was said earlier regarding the love that God continues to teach me: That a friend is the one whom I have resolved in my will to pursue and desire that what God desires would be experienced and established in the life of my neighbor, whoever that may be. That ultimately, and most thankfully, this pure love is not borne out of my affections (which indefinitely fades) or my emotions (which fluctuate), but the resolve of the Holy Spirit in me to will that which God desires in the life of another.

This being said, I acknowledge that it is literally impossible for anyone to do—to fulfill this high and lofty desire of God's. But with time, time after time, through varying degrees of frustration, anger, and hurt, He has shown me that by the power of the Holy Spirit, this impossible ideal is lived through me again and again solely because He is a God who is the God of all things, possible and impossible.

While John, Jude, Peter, & Paul endear the brethren as "dear friends," it's shown me that, though there may be varying degrees of closeness in friends, the lowest-common-denominator truth is that a friend is a friend not because of my affections or emotions, but because of what I have willed for their lives. There may be friends who I may enjoy closeness with until "death do us part." There may be friends who, over the course of life, I may share seasons of closeness and seasons of distance with. There may also be friends who, due to the necessity of differing paths and priorities, I may only experience distance with, even after a brief season of closeness. So whether close or distant, the one unchanging thread is that they remain friends—individuals in my life whom I continue to resolve that God's best interests would be accomplished in their lives—a thoroughly impossible feat if not for the Spirit working and willing it in my life.

" 'Simon, I have something to say to you...A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarrii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?' Simon answered and said, 'I suppose the one whom he forgave more'...and Jesus said to him, 'You have judged correctly.' "

"This is love for God: to obey His commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world."

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

For me, it's an awesome path to peace and freedom that begins with the Lord helping me to recognize and grasp the magnitude of the abominable wretchedness in myself that I've been forgiven. In turn, I love God more, which translates into obeying His commands, which results in loving Him with all that I am, and loving others—that is, desiring for God's noble purposes to be accomplished in the lives of my friends, first and foremost because I desire what He desires, apart from my own affections.

I do not pretend to be able to fully grasp the pain that some have endured; however, my sincere appreciation for the complexity of relationships wrought with pain and/or confusion is not feigned. If God's voice of wisdom is present at all in this entry, it's my prayer that my friends, my dear friends, who hear His Spirit speaking would be greatly edified in Christ.

Truth Must Have Power

2006-12-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

If we are proclaiming the word of truth without power, what are we really proclaiming? And if we are receiving the word of truth but not in the power of the Holy Spirit, what, then, are we really receiving? If a man’s “salvation” or “confession” or “belief” or in whatever way it is described, if it comes through the hearing of words but not God’s power, what then, is the mechanism by which the converted man been turned from death to life or transformed into a new creature or born again or born of the Spirit or saved…by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit?

“Our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.”—1 Thessalonians

“My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.”—1 Corinthians

What becomes of the Bible if it is a text describing but not backed by the power of the One around which it centers? It becomes then, a form of godliness without power—empty religion—an abomination that may effect change in a man’s life, but “makes no fundamental difference” in the core of who he is. It is the thing that makes a man who has merely said “the prayer,” and who mentally agrees with, even emotionally agrees with, the basic treatises of modern Christianity’s version of faith, but has no real personal experience of God “twice as much a son of Hell” as the one who discipled the man’s soul in the same regard. He remains a bush that has had its hedge trimmed, but remains a thorn bush none-the-less. He prays not to God, but like a Pharisee, prays to himself, and secretly gives thanks in his heart that he is better than so and so. He may seek to lead others, seek to be known, or seek to be complacent with what he knows of religion, while the same basic motive of advancing his own life has remained, never having sought first, in humility, the kingdom of God. Indeed, he cannot, for he has never truly acted on real faith, as the writer of Hebrews says “without faith, it is impossible to please Him.” Conversely, to the one whose faith has enacted action, experiencing the radical transformation from thorn bush to fruit tree, the reality of God’s power, His forgiveness, His approval, whose spirit has been touched by the Spirit of the Great I AM, knows that He is a God who effects an undeniable change from deep, deep within, and can thus be a witness of what he's seen, heard, and experienced first-hand. If we aren't considered witnesses of an accident unless we've seen it first-hand, we are no less true witnesses of Jesus unless we've had a first-hand experience with God. And so I implore all who’ve read this far with what A.W. Tozer has implored: Don’t “substitute theological ideas for an arresting encounter” with God!!For what is faith without the transforming power of Him who has granted faith? Faith, without the accompaniment of real, spiritual transformation, really brings no salvation at all! True salvation is not merely a pardoning from the coming judgment, it is also a rescue up out of the pit of sin we had (or have) fallen into, for Jesus "will save His people from their sins”—the first promise of the New Testament to us. He is, in the words of A.W. Tozer, "the God who by the word of the gospel proclaims men free, by the power of the gospel actually makes them free.” I have never met anyone who has witnessed a miracle, believing that is was one, whose heart had not been so awestruck by the God of heaven. As I understand it, a miracle is defined as an event that has happened that cannot be sufficiently explained if God has been removed from the equation—it is a supernatural work of God. If that is the case, then spiritual rebirth is a miracle. And if a miracle is so awe inspiring to those who see it, how much more so the one whose soul has directly experienced the miracle of spiritual rebirth in themself! For the first time, this man may know the depths of God's Spirit calling out to the depths of his, and the depths of his soul calling out to His—deep calls to deep, and the breakers and waves of God's lovingkindness consume him.

“There is no salvation that is not supernatural.”—Oswald Chambers